Hate is just putting it mildly how feel about my wife.?

We have been married for 23 years and have 2 grown kids. Over the past few years our sex life has dwindled. It really comes from my wife's attitude toward me. I do sweet loving things for her and figured as we approached and entered our empty nest time that it would be a exacting time of our life. But my wife rarely has a nice thing to say to or about me. Let me put it another way whenever we have a discussion it leads to her calling me names or belittling what I have to say. With profanity or just plain personal attacks on me. Though if she wants me to doing things for her she talks all sweet unless I do not do the thing she is asking. I am talking things beyond just household things but stuff like wash her back in the shower, put lotion on her back after a shower, massage her feet/back/legs/etc so intimate things. I have always tried to treat our marriage like a equal partnership and do romantic things for her. Like I will leave love notes on her car if in the area where she works that day or just send a random Love note via text message. Bring home flowers for no reason those type of things. But I get nothing similar in return not that do those things as a tit for tat but would be nice. Have spoken with her about her attitude change and that she does not seem to treat me as a equal in the marriage or appreciate when I do things for her including the romantic things. She just sluffs those off and has this attitude that it is what I am suppose to do or that is the feeling/response get to some of my comments that her coworkers tell her that what I am doing is just expected. I have come back to those remarks with "why do you think that those women are all divorced at least once if not multiple times". So now its come to the point I just do those things to keep peace but forget any thoughts on my part of having any kind of Intimate relationship with her ever. Some would say divorce and move on but we have had so many great years and finally were heading into the empty nest years with sites on retirement. If divorce now it would just blow through a ton of money on lawyers the sale of our house meaning have to start buying a house all over again. I know sounds shallow but who wants to start life all over again in late 40s and have to work tell 80 or older to have a house and chance at retirement.