I really need some help with this girl.. i don't know what to do.?

i am 17 years old. and a junior in high school. my freshman year, i dated this girl named kayla. & i really liked her. but then she broke up with me... she said that i texted my bestfriend taylor way to much when i was with her. i personally think that there was another reason. before we ever started dating, i asked her if it was alright that i talked to taylor & texted her & stuff & she said that she was fine with it & that she trusted me. & looking back i realize that i shouldn't have texted taylor when i was with her.. but i let her read the msgs. i didn't think it was a big deal. after we broke up we talked for a little while, and we got in fight after fight. she wanted to work it out & i kept telling her no. she wouldn't give up.. but eventually she did. we almost started dating again & then i backed out. i told her i choose my friendship with taylor over our relationship. she was my bestfriend, i couldn't just tell her that i couldn't talk to her anymore cuz of my gf. well, me & taylor are still bestfriends now. but i feel like i made the biggest mistake of my life.. i wish i would have took her back now. i really miss her, even after 2 years. i don't love her, i did but it's slowly dwindled down. i can't love someone that i'm probably never going to be with. so last summer, i started talking to this other girl, but that didn't work. she said she didn't want to ruin our friendship. & i'm still not over kayla. i think i might be in love.. i don't know. but i know she had to have feelings for me for a while longer.. she wouldn't give up. she wanted me back so bad, but i just wouldn't take her back. she has another bf now & they've been dating for two years. i know that they broke up one time for like a few days, but he about went crazy so she took him back. i see her sometimes.. not a lot but it's enough to make me feel even worse. i want to talk to her, but i just don't have the nerve. & i'm actually pretty good friends with her current bf. i've thought about texting her & talking to her but i wouldn't want her to show her bf & him get pissed. she would have the texts to show him, she'd never have proof if i actually talked to her face to face. i know she is probably over me, i just want to get over her. i've lost a lot of weight since i dated her, and i look completely different. people tell me i look better.. i went from being 300 pounds to 180. i'm a different person now.. i got my braces off, lost a lot of weight, and grew up a lot. i just don't know if i should talk to her or just move on with my life. i don't know why i still like her. i've texted her a few times.. & the longer we talked those times the more i realized that i missed her. & i made her laugh & we talked like nothing was wrong.. it was just like old times. the thing is, is that she was not only my gf.. but she was one of my bestfriends. i don't think she realized that.. but she was. & i miss her. even if we don't ever date again i can live with that.. i just want to talk to her & be friends again. i miss just being friends with her.. i could tell her anything. should i give it a shot? talking to her or texting her? or just move on & see what happens? i honestly don't know if i want to be more than friends with her or just be friends with her again. i know at least friends is a start. help me please! i need some good advice! thank you, guys.