Why can't I find a job? Hopes and dreams.?

So, here's the story. I can't find a job doing what I love. I went to school for Graphic Design from 2003-2004. In 2005 I started my own business, a VHS to DVD website, and I offered many special upgrades, music video highlights and other services. As soon as business started to pick up, Walgreens started offering the exact service I was to customers. As soon as word of mouth spread, my business dwindled down to practically nothing. Now here I am looking for work. I am an excellent video editor. I also do very well with photoshop, but these days...so does every 7 year old kid on my block. I'm 40 years old. My wife makes great money. Really good money, but now the bills are getting tight, and she is getting frustrated with my low amount of income. I'm not trying to do that BOOHOO is me deal, or whoa is me..whatever it is. I honestly feel like a part of me is dying. I don't tell her this, because I'm 100% sure she don't want to hear it. I've produced many entertaining, uplifting, enjoyable videos spread across the internet, and have received loads of praises for my work. This is why looking for work in my field is so important. For those of you wondering if I have applied elsewhere. Yes. Ironically, I even applied at Walgreens. It's not something that I want to do, it is something that I have to do. I guess what I'm asking is, when you give up on your hopes and dreams, where is there to go after that? How do I handle this? Is it just a mid-life crisis? Like I said, I feel like a part of me is dying. That's the only way I know how to explain it. I'm only giving up on my aspirations because my wife has given me the ultimatum. If it came to that, I'm afraid I would be visiting a tall building...and well....you know the rest of that story. P.S. I hate to come off sounding so negative. I really do. I like to make people smile. I thrive on that. It makes me feel good. Writing a question like this is just my way of being as honest with you as possible. I even created a fake yahoo so I could not be traced by any family members. I want no-one to know how I truly feel. I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm looking for guidance.