What do you think of this poem I wrote, "Farewell"?

Grammar, syntax, punctuation, careful attention to meaning, fresh language and concrete images will (can) help this. Starting from the beginning blood of the slain, weeping...can blood weep? That's what you have, blood weeping, blood wronged. No imagery, no metaphor. Near the middle I'm not sure whose mournful cries (not cry's), who is weeping, whose wretched faces and twisted smiles?